Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
