he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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