A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
