You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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