I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
