thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
