He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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