Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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