i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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