I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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