The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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