I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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