i don't plan on having that self control this summer
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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