In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
