ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sarcasm needs its own font
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
