$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
