I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i think i just lost a toe
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
