I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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