honey bunches of taint.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
