hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize