I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
