I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize