I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
