I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
