also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
