it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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