porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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