you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
