I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
