whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
