Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
