I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
