They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
