alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
PANTIES FOUND
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
