He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hippo gnu deer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
