shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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