the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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