Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
