is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
