Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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