He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
