she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have fence marks all over my body
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
