...so i touched it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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