In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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