You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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