yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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