How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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