I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
