dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
