its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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