who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
