all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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