I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
