i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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