My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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