ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
