I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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