road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
