you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize