the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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