apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
